tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40891908653314469322024-03-14T03:11:08.090-04:00Hope for SunshineJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.comBlogger122125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-67270139748389819502017-08-15T11:29:00.000-04:002017-08-15T11:29:20.190-04:00DustyWhew! Dusting off this blog! Bringing home two more mobile children was hard! We've dealt with a lot of behavior and medical issues this last 18 months, but things are settling in nicely. I'm hoping to use the blog this year to document how i modify our homeschool curriculum for our kiddo's who have cognitive disabilities. <br />
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Our boys are 11, 10, 9, but cognitively much younger. They are getting to an age where it isn't really appropriate to continue doing young preschool level work, even though that is where they fall academically. It is always a struggle to find curriculum that is age appropriate, but also falls into a cognitive level that they can fully participate. I haven't found great ones yet for the disparity between my boys ages and their cognitive levels, and it is a goal of mine this year to adapt more of our curriculum for them to participate in.<br />
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One simple thing we do for handwriting, is to show the child where they need to make each letter. It sounds like a simple thing, but the blank lines are overwhelming and they have no idea how many letters i expect them to make. Asking them to count a specific number and then write that many letters is actually working on two goals at once, and can also be frustrating for them. Simply putting a dot where i expect them to write the letters is a quick and low tech way to ensure they can complete the worksheet with minimal help from mom. I always demonstrate how to make the letter and watch the first couple they write to make sure they are forming them correctly.<br />
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<br />Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-88132847700420400262016-05-31T19:02:00.000-04:002016-05-31T19:12:16.253-04:00Not what i wished for<div style="text-align: center;">
You're not what i wished for</div>
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when i wished for you,</div>
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a sweet baby girl,</div>
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with a little something extra,</div>
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who would run around,</div>
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and sass us with her funny words.</div>
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You're not what I hoped for,</div>
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when we saw your sad picture,</div>
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success stories dancing through my mind,</div>
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of children who do and do and do.</div>
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You're not what i imagined,</div>
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when i pictured our future together,</div>
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shopping dates, prom dates and a house of your own</div>
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You're not what i wished for,</div>
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with your solemn face</div>
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and your slow movements</div>
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and no sassy words at all.</div>
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You're not what i hoped for, </div>
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with your fleeting eye contact,</div>
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and your content to just be still.</div>
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.You're not what i imagined, </div>
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for us, and you,</div>
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b/c you are so much more.</div>
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When you meet my gaze,</div>
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my heart leaps.</div>
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Chubby arms reaching across to </div>
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be held safe.</div>
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Deep, dark eyes, </div>
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holding all your mysteries.</div>
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I lose myself in them</div>
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staring</div>
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wondering</div>
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watching</div>
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you.</div>
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Dreams change.</div>
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Wishes change.</div>
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What might have been</div>
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morphs</div>
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into</div>
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look what is.</div>
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Look at her,</div>
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isn't she amazing?</div>
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And i'm so grateful</div>
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that we didn't say no</div>
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when reality was different</div>
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than my silly wishes.</div>
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B/c i would have missed<br />
a better reality<br />
than i could have<br />
ever imagined.</div>
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Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-18571349462625339682015-11-14T20:24:00.000-05:002015-11-14T20:24:39.003-05:00confession timeWe went to church tonight, and they played the song that seems to have become the anthem for me with regards to adoption. Invitaction Fountain. <br />
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True confession here. I hate traveling. I hate leaving my kids at home. I hate arranging childcare. I hate the showers and the food and not understanding the language. I hate feeling like a standout sore american thumb. I hate fast crazy driving that makes me want to puke. I hate missing out on what my other kids are doing for a week. I hate jetleg. I hate the pervading smoke in other countries. I'm spoiled. I get it. I really do. <br />
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But this song.... it has become my anthem. B/c this adoption is NOT about me. It's not about us. It's about following a calling, even when i DON'T want to. I know that's offensive to some. But it's the truth. We are in a good pattern right now with our current kids. I know the next six months to a year are going to involve a lot of training and retraining and tears on all our parts.<br />
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I know i will be shown MY flaws as a parent yet again. Believe me, nothing shows you what a terrible parent you are when you just can't take it one more minute and lose your cool on a kid who was an orphan just a month ago...when i'm on my knees just praying for help with MY heart, with MY flaws, with MY weaknesses i think of this song. It was being played when i first started attending this church, and i really LOVE that it was sung tonight. This was my last time at church before i go and get the boys. I'm particularly nervous b/c we are supposed to fly through Paris. <br />
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Something about these lyrics though, man they just resonate in me.<br />
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" Come on, be set free!" Yes, come with us boys, come and be set free. See the world for the first time. See what being in a family is like. So many firsts to be had, even at their ages. Be free to make your own choices, good and bad<br />
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"Where you lead me i will go, if you lead me i will follow." I will follow and i hope that we can lead them down a path they can be proud of. We weren't particularly looking to start another adoption, but when we saw their pictures and we just knew, they were ours. So we will go. Again and again and again. As long as we are called. As long as we are able. <br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"> Invitacion Fountain</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"> </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Lyrics: </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Let all who are weak </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">All who are weary </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Come to the Rock </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Come to the Fountain </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">All who have sailed </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">On the rivers of heartache </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Come to the sea </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Come on, be set free! </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">If You lead me Lord, </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">I will follow </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Where You lead me Lord, </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">I will Go </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Come and heal me Lord, </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">I will follow </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Where You lead me Lord, </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">I will go </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">I will go </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Let all who are weak </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">All who are weary </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Come to the Rock </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Come to the Fountain </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Let all who have climbed, </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">The mountains of heartbreak </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Reach to the sky </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Come on, and give your life </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">If You lead me Lord, </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">I will follow </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Where You lead me Lord, </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">I will Go </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Come and heal me Lord, </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">I will follow </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Where You lead me Lord, </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">I will go </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">I will go </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Heal me. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Heal me. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">All who are weak </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">All who are weary </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">All who are tired </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">All who are thirsty </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">All who have failed </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">All who are broken </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Come to the Rock </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Come to the Fountain</span><div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">song below in case you want to hear it. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYJwK4xOHnU">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYJwK4xOHnU</a></span></div>
Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-28195359884926901212015-10-29T11:05:00.000-04:002015-10-29T11:05:04.834-04:00AnnouncingA little late posting, but we were officially granted the pleasure and privilege of being these guys parents forever last week. I am humbled and grateful to be adding to more little guys to our house. I am anxious to go get them. I will travel with friends the week of Thanksgiving to spring them forever from their orphanage and free them forever. No longer orphans, now beloved sons and brothers. Welcome Welcome, Benjamin Richard and Maximus Jon. <br />
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<br />Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-40260262933518104942015-10-10T21:56:00.000-04:002015-10-10T21:56:11.051-04:00Happy Birthday BabyLanie girl. <br />
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Here we are again. It was your birthday this week. Sorta snuck up on me. You are five now. Five. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">what's this birthday nonsense you speak of mother?</td></tr>
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On paper anyway. Mostly, still just my squishy fishy baby. I think you may be our baby forever. I'm okay with it. Don't get me wrong, sometimes i wish for YOU that things could be easier for you. That you could walk and talk and run around like the other kids. Maybe next year. .<br />
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Maybe not<br />
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Either way, we traveled the world for you baby, and we would do it again a million times over. You are worth everything. You are worth all we could give and more.<br />
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We call you a "lifer" around here, meaning you will most likely live with us forever. Daddy and i used to talk about what we would do when "the kids" were grown and gone, and now those discussions have changed. In a wonderful way though, have no worries. <br />
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We laugh thinking about your grumpy little face when you are 30, or 40 or 50. We wonder if you will still grump and fuss at us when we don't do what you want. It doesn't seem like the life sentence it used to when we would think about kids staying forever (long before we started adopting).<br />
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<span style="text-align: start;"> It seems more like a life gift. We get the gift of you with us as we grow old together. And that's pretty cool. Life together with you seems pretty awesome.</span></div>
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Happy Birthday darlin<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">why is there no cake on this tray woman?</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">that's better!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">let me think about this</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">who cares if i'm dirty? Cake is delicious!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">glad you got with the cake program mom!</td></tr>
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<br />Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-68226727907843700362015-08-26T10:44:00.000-04:002015-08-26T10:44:12.036-04:00UpdateI've had several people ask me for an update on the kiddos! So long overdue and here you go!<br />
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Eli Came home in October of 2012. He had a few words in Lithuanian but not many and was not potty trained. He is closing in on three years home and oh has made such amazing progress. He speaks in sentences and is VERY good about asking for what he wants and needs. He has grown much taller and loves to play with his siblings. Unfortunately, he struggles still with attachment and making good choices. When children don't form an early bond to a parent, it can damage their brains and make it hard for them to connect in the future. We are working on this with him every day, and pray that one day he can just accept our love without trying to push us away with behaviors. We made the decision to home school him last year and continued with that this year. He is not ready to be away from us for hours everyday. We feel it is important for him to be more firmly attached to us first. He is doing very well academically at home, learning his letters, numbers, sight words and many other exciting things!!!!<br />
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Jocelyn came home in February of 2014. She weighed 25 pounds and was 36 inches tall. She was scared of everything. She would not sit facing an adult and would fight to put her back on our chests and hold our hands down on her lap. We can only surmise she was afraid we would hurt her, and this way she could ensure she knew where our hands were at all times. She still does not like anyone to walk or be behind her and will turn until she can see what you are doing. She would scoot on her bottom but was unable to bear any weight on her legs. She bit often, when she was feeling overwhelmed or scared. She spent most of her day rocking herself or banging her head on the floor. She would pat her hands on things when she was bored. These are unfortunately all really common behaviors in kiddos who have been left in cribs and have no stimulation. She would silent cry when something was upsetting her, with tears falling and her mouth open but no sound. It was (and still is) the saddest sight to me. How in the world was she taught not to cry out loud? It breaks my heart to even think of it. She also struggled greatly with feeding, she would take a bite and then whip her head to the side and bring her hands up defensively. In short, she was a tiny, scared little girl who had no reason to believe we wouldn't hurt her.<br />
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We have spent the last 18 months teaching Jocelyn that we will always be gentle with her. We do not force her to eat, and if she turns her head we vocalize, "okay Jo, you tell me when you are ready". Trying to let her know that she can control what and how she eats. Some days feeding took a REALLY long time, and that was okay. She needed to know that we would never force her or hurt her. She is bearing weight on her legs beautifully and using a walker at school and church to get around. However, she sees no point in using one at home when she can scoot on her bottom and chase her siblings just fine thank you very much ;) We are working on it. She was recently fitted for a wheelchair. Although she is making GREAT progress, the truth is that she was stuck in a crib for 7 years and is closing in on 9 years old and still not an independent walker. A wheelchair will give her a measure of independence for longer distances in the future, instead of having to have someone push her around she is learning how to control the wheelchair herself. She says "mama" often, and each and every time she does my heart just melts. She loves being loved. She will wind her hands around my face and just stare at me so intently before she smiles and hugs me. Knowing love and giving love were new experiences for her but she has grabbed hold and never looked back. She gained 9 pounds and 5 inches in 18 months, a very respectable gain! Jojo goes to a special school for children who have disabilities, and her staff is so loving and great with her. She takes walks down the hallway to visit friends and they are teaching her to use an electronic talker to communicate her wants and needs. In short, she is amazing. We are so grateful everyday we "added" her to our adoption of Lanie. I can't imagine our lives without her, and i shudder to think of her still stuck behind those crib bars. <br />
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Lanie was 3 when we brought her home at the same time as Jo. She had major heart surgery in Bulgaria around age one. She would also bang her head on the wall all day long for stimulation. She, unlike Jojo, was EAGER to eat and be fed!!! She has gained 10 pounds and only one inch in 18 months, and is being followed by an endocrinologist for this and several other issues. She was unable to bear any weight on her legs and also was not crawling or scooting around at all. When she came home we could place her on the floor and walk away and she would always be in the same exact spot when we came back. She would shake her hand in front of her face for hours, lost in her own world and perfectly content to stay there. She has been more like the turtle in this race, slowly moving forward at her own little pace. She is starting to bear weight on her legs and is being introduced to using a walker. She can stand if you prop her on the wall although she prefers not to. She has recently learned how to scoot on her butt and i NEVER find her in the same place anymore! She prefers to scoot into the big girls room and steal things off the floor to shake. Hey, it's a start anyway. She still bangs her head if she wakes up in the middle of the night, but not so much during the day. She had open heart surgery again in May of this year, and came out of it very well and has made a lot of progress since then. Attachment has been really slow with her, and i had resigned myself to the fact that we might be at a standstill with her. After surgery i think she realized that hey this mom person was here the whole time, and she started to show more signs of attachment. She will eagerly reach for Jared and i now, and LOVES to be smooched right on her chubby little cheek. She will grab my hair and bring me close for silly games!!! So excited to see her turn this new and exciting little corner towards enjoying having a family. She was recently diagnosed with Autism, as well as her Down Syndrome. This was not a surprise to us, as soon as i picked her up in Bulgaria i thought she might be autistic (i used to work at a behavior clinic for children who had Autism so very familiar with it). We love our little "squishy" fishy and the children fight over who gets to hold and play with her! She is firmly in the "baby" position of the family!<br />
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Family is more than blood. It's our motto around here. </div>
<br />Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-48621744117346047782015-08-16T21:53:00.001-04:002015-08-16T21:53:45.315-04:00Life SentenceAnother teeny child was listed today. She is starving to death. Literally. She isn't unique unfortunately, but oh my goodness. My breath caught. <br />
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<a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/97397/heavenleigh">http://reecesrainbow.org/97397/heavenleigh</a></div>
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She is 5. Weighs 11 pounds. In a place where children notoriously come out teeny and starved. Her crime? She has Down Syndrome. So she has a life sentence. She WILL die in this place if no one comes forward for her. I can't even stand it. </div>
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Think she is tiny simply because of her medical condition? Here is a picture of another little one, who was in the same place, in the same condition. </div>
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Pre and Post adoption. It doesn't even look like the same child. How many more children must serve out life sentences alone and starving in this place? Can we rally for this child? She needs a family She needs a grant. She needs help. </div>
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Oh, that sweet baby above who was set free and thriving now? Her AWESOME parents saw another child just like their sweet princess and are leaping once again to rescue from the sentence. To break the chains. To free her for life. </div>
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<a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/94973/sponsorhorton-3">http://reecesrainbow.org/94973/sponsorhorton-3</a></div>
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Please, can we as a community rally? Find a family for Heavenleigh, and help the Horton family bring sweet Hope home? Can we help them break free and be able to come home and know the love of a family? </div>
Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-14469155245279374062015-08-08T19:56:00.001-04:002015-08-08T19:56:33.970-04:00Life givingI'm sure you've all seen or heard of the videos on Planned Parenthood going around the Internet these days. My Facebook page is filled with pro-life vs. pro-choice arguments, memes for both sides, and lots of ugliness spewing out all over the place. <br />
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It's not a secret that we are firmly Pro-life in this household. As i think about what that means, i am struck by the thought that pro-LIFE means an entire life. Not just birth. I see SO many people discussing the issues who think they are pro-life, but in reality they are pro-birth. Meaning, they want the child to be born of course, and then they pat themselves on the back for another child "saved" and move on. But oh my goodness. When those parents need help with that child, be it through food programs, work programs or the like, i see screaming to cut funding. I see children who are sitting in foster care or orphanages for years and years and years. B/c once they were born they no longer "mattered" to the pro-birth crowd.<br />
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Don't get me wrong, it's great to be pro-birth. But can we be real here? Those kids don't just pop out ready to support themselves. One way or another, be it adoption, or social services for birth parents, or solid foster care options with GREAT services included, the children need to be supported. <br />
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I see foster parents becoming so disillusioned with the system. With the children who are not be considered. The push for reunification regardless of whether or not it is in the best interest of the child. I see birth parents struggling to make ends meet, or struggling to get services for their children, or struggling for education for their children. Struggling. <br />
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I see (and have been) adoptive parents who are screaming for help getting their children home from orphanages. It's really expensive to adopt. Adoptive parents are told it was their "choice" to adopt and that no one should have to give money to them. While that is true of course, i struggle when the same people who are SHOUTING for children to not be aborted, are the same ones who tell me my fundraising is annoying, or "those" kids i post depress them.<br />
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What has happened to us as a society? Do we give no value to life anymore? It makes no sense to me to fight for a baby to be born and then refuse to give help once that first breath is taken. I can post a complaint about something on facebook and get a bunch of comments and likes. But when i post about a child that needs a family, or a fundraiser? Often i get crickets.<br />
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Just a rant i guess, just hoping maybe someone will read and think, maybe i should be prolife, and not just probirth. Just a different perspective from a mama with soon to be 5 kiddos who would have had a serious chance of being aborted if their birth mothers had lived in this country. Thank God they were born elsewhere. Even having to wait years for us to come, means they have a chance. A chance to grow and learn and be loved. <br />
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Lets come together and be LIFE givers, not just Birth givers. Let's be LIFE encourager's, instead of BIRTH encourager's. Let's be Pro-life, and not just Pro-birth. Join us ;) Support adoption. Support the foster care system. Become a big brother/big sister. Vote for funding systems for underprivileged children and adults. Hold a fundraiser for an adoptive family. Donate to an adoptive family. Call and adoptive or foster family and offer to bring dinner, or do their laundry, or bring them chocolate ;) . Call an inner city school and see if they need volunteers. Support mental health funding. Become an advocate for a child in foster care. Volunteer at a woman's shelter. Do SOMETHING. Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-59214040551825250092015-07-06T13:25:00.001-04:002015-07-06T13:26:24.459-04:00BeggingMy best friend is visiting her soon to be son this week. I've been anxiously waiting and waiting, just as excited for her as when Jared went to visit our boys. She had pictures and a medical report stating he was very underweight, and i think we were all holding out hope that they were old pictures and he would be in better shape when she actually got there. Unfortunately, he is not in better shape. He doesn't even weigh 10 pounds at age six most likely.<br />
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We cannot share current pictures, but his older pics i can. Believe me when i say he does not look better now. If anything he is smaller. I know my friend is simply heartbroken. I am heartbroken for them. <br />
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The only thing we can do for him is pray for him to hang on, to hold out for them to come back, and to donate so that if they are able to speed up his adoption process (legally of course) then money will not hold them back. <br />
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If you have $5 or more can you drop it in their pot? I can't do anything else for them in their heartbreak, so maybe i can take this burden off of them. Please help. Please. I'm begging. I have nothing left to sell or do, just simply begging to help save him. Remember this isn't a newborn. This is a 6 year old. <a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/81896/sponsormorse-2">http://reecesrainbow.org/81896/sponsormorse-2</a><br />
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<br />Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-34211311888038041382015-06-24T21:15:00.001-04:002015-06-24T21:15:11.893-04:00Still i forget18 months home and sometimes i forget. I forget i didn't give birth to her. I forget she hasn't always been here. She fills my arms and my heart and i simply forget. Until she does something that shatters my heart for her again. <br />
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Lanie is still sleeping in a crib in our room, b/c of her recent heart surgery and we want to keep an eye on her. She was going to sleep tonight and i was reading in bed mostly tuning her out. I heard her breathing even out and she started to snore a bit and it made me smile to myself. She choked and woke up and i heard her bouncing. I tuned it out at first but the noise continued and i looked over to make sure she was okay.<br />
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She was sitting straight up, bouncing herself. To soothe herself. B/c no one ever did. So she sits and bounces and falls asleep and wakes herself up falling. B/c she didn't have a mama or a papa to do it for her when she was a baby. B/c even 18 months of loving her with our whole hearts isn't enough to undo the damage laying in a crib does. She doesn't even look for us to soothe her in the night most of the time, b/c she simply doesn't remember it's an option. She soothes herself, b/c that's all she knew when she was alone for so long. <br />
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And that shatters me. Sometimes i think i will never find all the pieces of my heart that raising wounded children has given me. I gather them close and hope it's enough for them. I try not to die a little inside each time these things catch me off guard. I long for the day she cries every single time she is upset or bored or chokes in the middle of the night. For her to know that we are here and we will make it better. One day maybe. I can hope anyway. <br />
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I've often said, i don't mourn her diagnosis, b/c she wouldn't be here in this house most likely without it. But the time spent alone, waiting to be chosen, to be seen, it eats at me. Burns me up and breaks me when i see her soothing herself, or see Jo so fearful to try new things, b/c she was left for so long with nothing new at all, or see Eli still struggle with attachment and try to push us away when he is feeling unsure of something.<br />
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It's why we are doing this thing again. Bringing more children into the home. Children who are broken and lost. Children who may never feel whole again. B/c they were left for so very long. There's a song we listen to on the radio a lot that says<br />
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"<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Lato, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.5px;"><i>Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete</i></span><br />
<i style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Lato, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.5px;">Could we just be broken together</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Lato, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.5px;" /><span style="font-family: Lato, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.5px;">If you can bring your shattered dreams and Ill bring mine</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Lato, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.5px;" /><span style="font-family: Lato, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.5px;">Could healing still be spoken and save us</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Lato, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.5px;" /><span style="font-family: Lato, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.5px;">The only way we'll last forever is broken together"</span></i><div>
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<span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.5px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And i think. maybe it's true. Maybe we can just be broken together. Maybe we can heal each others hearts. Maybe it's enough. I might not ever be able to fill in those holes for my children. Maybe i'm not meant to. Maybe i'm just supposed to be here, for them, with them. Loving them as best i know how. </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-16779511909318088942015-05-28T21:00:00.000-04:002015-05-28T21:00:14.396-04:00Whatever may comeJo peed in the potty today. They've been working on it at school and i decided just to try with her. She had been sitting for a while and i held my hands up to see if she wanted me to pick her up and she refused and then a minute later peed and then grinned and held her hands up. It was amazing. Seriously. I was typing to tell a friend about it and almost typed God is good. And he is. But you know what? He wouldn't be any less good if she never peed in the potty. If she never walks or talks or pees in the potty again it won't make him any less good. It won't make her any less amazing, just the way she is. <br />
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I was talking with a friend today about realistic expectations for our kids. I see differences in the way Jared and i look at our children with disabilities than i see in parents who have bio kiddos with disabilities. We didn't have an unexpected diagnosis, and i wonder if that makes a difference? We knew upfront that Jocelyn was very delayed, and we were cool with it. I think it's a hard thing to have expectations and hopes for our children, i know i certainly did with all of my pregnancies. We had hopes and dreams for them, still do of course. I think having those dreams and then having to find a different set of dreams for your child would be one of the hardest things ever to do. I don't pretend to understand how it feels b/c we have never been in those shoes. We don't mourn our children's diagnosis's, b/c realistically if they didn't have them they most likely wouldn't be in our house right now. Anyway, i think we are pretty realistic about the kiddo's in our home who have disabilities. One will be able to live fairly independently and two will not. One will be able to hold a job and two most likely will not.<br />
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And you know what? That's totally ok! I see so many stories in the news about this child with Down syndrome (or other disability) who was prom queen or has his own store or did amazing things and that is GREAT. But not every kid with a disability is going to go to prom or college or move out or even learn how to use the bathroom. And that is OK TOO. I absolutely understand why the media and even families want to promote and see these stories. But i would love to see stories of kids who one day decided to make eye contact for a second. And how it filled her mama's heart with such joy. Stories of how one day he decided not to rage, and there was peace for a moment. Stories of children who do their best to escape the house, or tear things up, or rock all day. Who never speak. Who never walk. Who never leave the house. B/c those children are amazing too.<br />
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They fill our hearts with the same love and joy and yes sorrow that our other children do. Secret time? Sometimes they fill our hearts even more than our typical kids when they finally meet our eyes. B/c things don't always come easy to them. Most days it's not easy for them. I do sometimes look at my children and wonder what will you be? But i don't despair for them. I want to see what they will be, who they will be. Whatever may come, we are ok with it. Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-43328585298943264042015-05-23T20:46:00.001-04:002015-05-23T20:46:43.490-04:00choicesLanie had her open heart surgery on the 13th of may. She did really well during and after surgery. She ended up getting some fluid on her heart and lungs and we had to stay a couple of extra days but all is well and she is home now. <br />
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BUT. Something pretty amazing happened when we were in the hospital. She started crying when i would turn out the lights and go lay down at night. If i got up and sat by her bed she would stop crying. She has struggled with attachment, Jared and i feel fairly confident that she may have something else going on besides Down Syndrome. Eye contact is hard for her and truthfully most days she is content to sit on the floor and stim with various toys. We continue to work with her of course, but have also accepted that her attachment and progress will look different than our other kiddos. That is fine with us, just a different road to take. For her to cry for me (Jared is undoubtedly her favorite round these parts) was simply amazing. <br />
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She was afraid and found comfort in me. It sounds like such a simple thing. Something i certainly took for granted before i had internationally adopted kids. Watching Eli cry on the floor and refuse to be comforted was hard when he first got home, but helped prepare me for Jocelyn's flat out angry refusals to be comforted when she was upset. Lanie has never really cared one way or another if we comfort her or not. She will lay passively in our arms if we try and soothe her, or she will soothe herself if we don't. I admit to feeling super tired one night and sort of laughing that this was the moment she would decide she wanted another person to soothe her, but seriously, what an amazing blessing to get to be the one who does life with this child. I get to hold her and soothe her and grow with her. <br />
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She also decided that she really loves Hillsong kids songs, thanks to a super amazing friend who stayed with us for three weeks during vacation and surgery. This is also AMAZING friends. She stops fussing and listens and smiles when we turn on the music. She fusses when the commercials come on. She is making a CHOICE to listen to a specific set of songs, and shows displeasure when the songs go off. I just feel like she is growing all the sudden, and i'm crazy excited to see where she will go next. <br />
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Side note: Jared leaves to go to Bulgaria VERY soon to meet our new boys!!! The excitement is high in this house!!!!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-88409560309273440082015-05-11T14:37:00.001-04:002015-05-11T14:37:18.660-04:00First tripQuick note to say we have travel dates and Jared will be traveling to meet the boys in Early June! We are super duper thrilled to tell the boys that they have a forever family! I will be staying home with the other kids and then i will go on pickup trip with a friend. We are down to needed less than 6k to be fully funded to ransom these two boys forever! <br />
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On another note, our Lanie is having heart surgery on this coming Wed. I am feeling crazy anxiety about them cutting open my baby's chest, so please pray for her and for me if you have a spare one!<br />
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Just a quick update today, lots to do before surgery!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-77910573002810406492015-04-09T20:53:00.002-04:002015-04-09T21:10:15.545-04:00rocks and tantrumsAt church on Easter, the pastor gave us all a box. Inside the box were several things, one of them being a rock. He told us to take the rock out and feel the weight of it. Then he asked us to text him (yes at church LOL) one burden that was weighing us down like the weight of the rock. I went back in forth in my head, but decided on Lanie's upcoming heart surgery. It was between that and being able to bring the boys home, but Lanie's surgery is a constant heavy weight on me. <br />
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I posted a mini tantrum on facebook, saying that i was hoping that Jared could travel before Lanie's surgery and how disappointed i was that it wasn't going to happen. I am nervous about being alone with Lanie quickly after her surgery, she doesn't have a great history after surgery. In the days that followed, i've gotten no less than three offers from friends who want to come hold her and keep her upright at night, two out of town friends who are offering to drop everything and come stay with me if Jared needs to go and i'm nervous, we got chosen to be part of a multi-family grant opportunity, and another sweet friend is splitting all her proceeds between her family and ours, even though SHE herself is fundraising to bring home a very sick little boy, and another friend is doing an avon fundraiser for us. Overwhelming to say the least. <br />
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<a href="http://2byland-2bysea.blogspot.com/2015/04/for-my-friend.html">http://2byland-2bysea.blogspot.com/2015/04/for-my-friend.html</a><br />
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/AvonForAdoptions?pnref=story">https://www.facebook.com/AvonForAdoptions?pnref=story</a><br />
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<a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/555families">http://reecesrainbow.org/555families</a><br />
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And so the weight is being lifted. Dear friend who WANT to take off work and sit with you while your baby is being cut open. Friends who want to have sleepless nights holding YOUR child so you can feel ok about your husband leaving the country. Friends who want to drive hundreds of miles to hold your hand. Friends who want to give up money THEY rightly need for their own children. One by one by one the offers poured in and lifted the weight off my shoulder, lifted the heavy burden off of my heart. So i'm casting my cares away, and being lifted and held in return. <br />
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What burden are you holding friends? Can you cast it away? You might be surprised at what happens when you do <3 Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-52779985434497167402015-03-31T22:41:00.003-04:002015-04-01T08:29:07.781-04:00Crazy Awesome NEW Fundraising opportunity for the boys<div style="text-align: left;">
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Nab Amazon bestselling YA Fantasy novel <em>Thorn</em> by Intisar Khanani for 99 cents April 1- 7 and help bring these two young brothers home. Described as "unflinching and exquisite," <em>Thorn</em> is a story of choice and betrayal, justice and compassion. Recommended for fans of Robin McKinley and Mercedes Lackey.</div>
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<em><strong>About Thorn</strong> </em></div>
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<strong><a href="http://viewbook.at/Thorn"><img alt="Thorn_CoverFnlRevFNLF_low_res" class="alignleft wp-image-938" src="http://booksbyintisar.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Thorn_CoverFnlRevFNLF_low_res1-200x300.jpg" height="450" width="300" /></a></strong><br />
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<strong>For Princess Alyrra, choice is a luxury she’s never had … until she’s betrayed.</strong>
Princess Alyrra has never enjoyed the security or power of her rank. Between her family’s cruelty and the court’s contempt, she has spent her life in the shadows. Forced to marry a powerful foreign prince, Alyrra embarks on a journey to meet her betrothed with little hope for a better future.
But powerful men have powerful enemies—and now, so does Alyrra. Betrayed during a magical attack, her identity is switched with another woman’s, giving Alyrra the first choice she’s ever had: to start a new life for herself or fight for a prince she’s never met. But Alyrra soon finds that Prince Kestrin is not at all what she expected. While walking away will cost Kestrin his life, returning to the court may cost Alyrra her own. As Alyrra is coming to realize, sometimes the hardest choice means learning to trust yourself.
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<a href="http://viewbook.at/Thorn">Amazon Worldwide</a> | <a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thorn-intisar-khanani/1111104034?ean=2940016184708">Barnes & Noble</a> | <a href="http://www.nook.com/gb/ebooks/thorn-by-intisar-khanani/2940016184708">Nook UK</a> | <a href="https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Intisar_Khanani_Thorn?id=6DcaBwAAQBAJ">Google Play</a></div>
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<strong><em>About Evan & Raymond</em></strong></div>
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<img alt="brothers2" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1209" src="http://booksbyintisar.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/brothers2.jpg" height="200" width="127" /> This sale is also about Intisar's good friend, Jamie, and <span style="text-align: left;"> the two little boys she and her husband are in the process of trying to adopt. Evan (age 7) and Raymond (age 9) are biological brothers, both born with Saethre-Chotzen Syndrome--a condition that results in brain damage if left untreated. They were each given up at birth, and were unable to receive treatment for their condition. These brothers have lived in an orphanage in Eastern Europe their whole lives. As boys who are older and struggle with developmental disabilities, it's almost impossible to find adoptive families for them. But Jamie has her heart set on bringing them home, and this sale is about helping that happen.</span></div>
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<img alt="" border="0" class=" alignleft" src="http://thermometer.fund-raising-ideas-center.com/thermometer.php?currency=dollar&goal=2000&current=0&color=green&size=medium" />All of the proceeds from <em>Thorn</em>'s 99 cent sale are going towards that adoption. Our goal is to raise $2,000 over the course of the week. International adoption is prohibitively expensive (often over $20,000), so every dollar makes a difference... You can find out more about the boys and Jamie, and link to their blog, here: http://reecesrainbow.org/83163/sponsorallison-3</div>
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And today, your help can make this goal a reality. Please share, tweet, and/or re-blog this post, and buy and give "Thorn" as a gift to friends and family! You can also invite your friends to the "Thorn Flash Sale" <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/1383832048606245/">event on Facebook</a>. Help us bring Evan and Raymond home.</div>
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<em>Thorn</em> is currently on sale for only <strong>99 cents </strong>at all of these e-retailers:</div>
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<a href="http://viewbook.at/Thorn">Amazon Worldwide</a> | <a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/thorn-intisar-khanani/1111104034?ean=2940016184708">Barnes & Noble</a> | <a href="http://www.nook.com/gb/ebooks/thorn-by-intisar-khanani/2940016184708">Nook UK</a> | <a href="https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Intisar_Khanani_Thorn?id=6DcaBwAAQBAJ">Google Play</a></div>
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Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-26555936682643088652015-03-18T12:24:00.001-04:002015-03-18T12:24:19.641-04:00World Down Syndrome DayMarch 21st is world Down Syndrome Day!!! Down Syndrome occurs when a person has 3 copies of the 21st chromosome. As you know, we have three adopted children with Down Syndrome that make our lives extra great! This year the kids and i are doing a community outreach project where we take a treat and handmade card to local community organizations in honor of 3/21. So if you are here following a link off our treats, welcome and feel free to look around! Hoping to upload pics of the kids delivering the treats in the next couple of days! Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-85523815618061104082015-03-12T20:00:00.001-04:002015-03-12T20:00:21.366-04:00Fly away, Fly awayJared and i got back our USCIS approval in NINE days!!!! Last adoption it took close to 60!!!! We rushed and scrambled and our COMPLETED Dossier FLEW away yesterday. Wow. Complete. We are so so ready to meet the boys and bring them home. <br />
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I think of them every single day, in the (rare) quiet moments during the day and all through the late evening hours when i stay up making crafts or working on fundraisers to help bring them home. What will they be like. Will they like us? When will they be home? How will our lives change? I know there aren't any quick answers to those questions, but i am READY to find out. <br />
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We are ready for them to be here and to start learning what it means to be part of a family. To have people that will fight for you (and with you ;) ). To know that someone always has your back. That's what i am waiting for. To show them the wonder beyond those orphanage doors. What the world has to offer them. It's a crazy thing to watch a child discover the world. I remember watching Eli play on a playground in his first months home and just weeping. B/c he was free. B/c he had waited so long to have a family who would delight in watching him go down a slide. <br />
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It's amazing when our babies explore and learn, even more amazing and achingly heartbreaking when you watch a child of 9 or 7 or 5 discover things our biological children take for granted. Food always being available. Someone to rock you whenever you want. Someone to worry when you are sick or scared or upset. Someone to sit with you when your world feels to big or scary. Someone you can show your big scary feelings to and they will help you work through them.<br />
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It's so much work. Truth right there. Bringing home children from institutions is hard WORK. It can feel never ending some days. Back breaking some days. Tear worthy some days. Some days i wonder what in the world we are doing, b/c on those hard days i am oh so certain that anyone else could do a better job with our kiddos from hard places. Those hard days come and go though, but the bottom line is, they are worth it. They are worth my tears and sleepless nights worrying over if i did the right thing, or enough, or worrying about medical issues or emotional issues. <br />
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We still need around 15,000 more to be fully funded to bring the boys home. That is a very big, very scary number to me. Being our third adoption in three years means we don't have a nest egg, or a retirement fund (used it on the last adoption), and i know we are annoying when we post fundraisers and ask for help. It's truly humbling to have to ask for money and Jared and i are both the type who would rather just do things on our own. So it's a good lesson for us, that we can't do things alone. If we had 35k laying around that would be great but we don't. So pray for us and the boys, for them to hold on b/c we are coming, and for funding to come in or new ideas to pop into my head for fundraising. I am not afraid to work for them! Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-47440794077631866742015-02-28T19:59:00.000-05:002015-02-28T19:59:29.457-05:00One life projectI got an envelope from a super sweet friend today. The front was labeled "for craft purchases and for your boys" and then when i turned the envelope over, this is what was written on the back. <br />
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I started ugly crying as soon as i turned it over. My friend had a sibling who made some unfortunate choices, that led to his untimely death. She used this experience to bring joy to others, in the form of helping adoptive families bring their children home. I can't explain what it means to have the support from friends (who ALSO happen to be adopting) in such a sweet manner. <br />
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One life gone, two lives saved. Saved from early death, a life alone, a life without family, a life without guidance. Our boys have waited 9 and almost 7 years for a family to call their own. I love the idea of this. What kind of difference could we make if we all became part of the one life project? What can you do today to make a difference for someone, anyone who needs a hand. Something to think about. I know we will be contemplating this in the coming weeks. How can we pass on this blessing to others? <br />
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We got uscis approval today. Basically means we have preliminary approval to adopt the boys. We will (hopefully) be submitting our completed dossier this coming week. Jared will go on first trip and i will go on pick-up with a friend, same as last time. This way we can keep some consistency for the children that are here. I am simultaneously excited and scared to death. I long for them to be home, i worry about the changes it will bring. Same as every time i am pregnant or adopting actually. Fear of the unknown. Fear of change. But they are worth a little fear. Worth some hard times. Worth sleepless nights and angry days when they deal with their feelings <br />
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Please consider helping us bring them home. We have a tax deductible account here, <a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/83163/sponsorallison-3">http://reecesrainbow.org/83163/sponsorallison-3</a><br />
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and hey, if you don't want to donate to us, make a difference in another child's life. Some of my favorites below<br />
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Cliff is being adopted by a personal friend of mine. He weighs only 11 pounds at 5 years Poor kiddo needs to come home asap.<br />
<a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/81896/sponsormorse-2">http://reecesrainbow.org/81896/sponsormorse-2</a> <br />
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Beth is another personal friend of mine, single mama who is adopting her third child (second adopted kiddo). She is amazing and does it all on her own!<br />
<a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/81681/sponsorbaird-2">http://reecesrainbow.org/81681/sponsorbaird-2</a><br />
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Got to meet this amazing family this summer! They currently have one adopted kiddo and are going back for 2 more!!! <br />
<a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/69430/sponsorvanhalle-2">http://reecesrainbow.org/69430/sponsorvanhalle-2</a><br />
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This family is made entirely up of adopted kiddos! And they are going back for three more!!!<br />
<a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/79123/sponsorbasil">http://reecesrainbow.org/79123/sponsorbasil</a><br />
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Love this family who is going back for the cutest, squishy baby boy i have seen in a LONG time!<br />
<a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/87971/sponsormcintee-2">http://reecesrainbow.org/87971/sponsormcintee-2</a><br />
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Last but not least, another super sweet boy!<br />
<a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/80521/sponsorhowell-2">http://reecesrainbow.org/80521/sponsorhowell-2</a><br />
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<br />Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-67633693292716883752015-01-29T19:36:00.002-05:002015-01-30T08:39:30.943-05:00One YearOne Year.<br />
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One year ago today I walked into a large orphanage and was unceremoniously handed Jo. The worker carried her facing away from her body, like an object she was moving from one place to another. She was handed to me and i felt....numb truthfully. I dressed her and tried to snuggle her, she didn't smell all that nice but she seemed happy to be being held. We made the long drive back and i fell asleep after making sure that Aunt Lindee would keep an eye on her. <br />
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The time in country went both slowly and quickly, but that numb feeling didn't really wear off. I was sad to see her banging her head or rocking, but it was more a sadness for "any" kid that you would feel if you saw them having those behaviors. The flights home were much easier than i thought, and my heart started to thaw when we were on the long flight. <br />
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Jo had a bad reaction to us trying to lay her down for a nap and put a seat belt on her. She silent cried big fat tears and Lindee and i both cried along with her. What in the world had been done to her? What had she been through? In the customs line a very nice woman asked if the girls were twins and then told me how cute they were. Unfortunately for her, i then burst into tears and cried onto Deb's shoulder that i was SO glad to be HOME. Poor lady. <br />
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The first weeks and even the months were such a blur. Learning to care for both girls at the same time left me feeling (and looking i'm sure) like a zombie. Learning that i couldn't "fix" 3 and 7 years of neglect and worse in a month or two was hard. Intellectually i KNEW that. But my mother's heart yearned to wipe the slate clean and fill in all those holes with my love. Love isn't always enough to fix every wrong. <br />
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I don't remember exactly when i went from feeling like i was babysitting or still kinda numb to complete and utter adoration for Jo. She was so desperate for any attention and kind word. She would have gone home with the mailman if he offered. Anyone would have done. Anyone who would hold or seemed nice was fine. We cocooned and did lots of holding and playing as she would allow. <br />
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She is sneaky. She just climbs into your heart and one day you realize that your morning is complete until she is awake and gives you her "wookie" greeting and a big hard squeeze. When she is at school sometimes i am so busy that i don't think of her and then when she gets home my heart seems to sigh b/c all the sudden it is complete. <br />
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She is naughty. She delights in throwing things on the floor that you are trying to use and then grins or even laughs outloud when she does it. She knows her name and responds when you call for her. She knows i am mama and prefers me over all others. She no longer goes to any random person and begs for affection. She still likes to be affectionate with others but is very firm in her belief that i am mama and that is where she wants to end up. <br />
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I often say i have no idea how she survived in that place. How her sweetness was not just crushed out. She has so much love to give. So much joy. I know others look at her and see how delayed she is, and i guess she is. But i look at her and see a survivor. I see a child who never gave up on life. Who never gave up hope. Her middle name is hope b/c we knew she held onto hope waiting for a family for 7 long years before we found her. <br />
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Happy year anniversary sweet girl. We are blessed to have you in the family. Now until forever. <br />
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Oh yeah, that sad kid i brought home? No longer exists. Tonight she called for mama when I had been playing with her and then went to pick up Lanie. Take that every single person who didn't see her worth. Who left her alone and afraid for years. She is amazing. </div>
<br />Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-18083599866287115822015-01-08T17:43:00.002-05:002015-01-08T17:43:49.672-05:00old friendHello old friend PTSD. I was hoping you were gone for good, but alas, it was not to be. <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"> I often forget that these horrible reactions were such a normal thing when the girls first came home, and it always SHOCKS me when they pop up out of no where. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"> One of my girls had a PTSD reaction to me trying to give her a new medicine today. I had put my hand on her mouth to try and get her to open and her eyes flashed fear and she started silent SOBBING and rocking, shaking. In that moment, all i could think was Curse words. Curse words for every single person who hurt her and made her freak out b/c i touched her mouth and had a spoon in my hand. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Sadly, when we first brought her home, these reactions were a normal thing. It hasn't happened in months though, and i just forgot. I forgot i shouldn't touch her mouth when i have utensils in one of my hands. B/c she is afraid i will hurt her, or shove food in her mouth. She just reacted. She didn't see mama, that person who always holds her gently and never ever EVER forces her to eat or is rough with a spoon. She saw a spoon coming towards her and felt a hand on her chin (gently) trying to get her to open and i'm guessing she was remembering a time when that happened and didn't end so nicely. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">She cried, i cried. I know why she was crying, b/c she went through horrible things in her young life. I cried, b/c she is my baby. And i wasn't there to protect her. I didn't do what parents are supposed to do, keep her safe. It kills me that she went through everything she did. It makes me feel physically ill to think about it. And then i FORGOT, and i scared her. I could not have felt worse. We cried together and i promised her once again, as we often do, that no one would hurt her anymore. No one would make her eat if she didn't want to. No one would be rough with her. No one would abandon her in a crib for years at a time. I whispered in her ear that mama and daddy loved her, and we would protect her forever. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">I can't undo the damage that was done. In that moment, i felt like i couldn't even help her move forward, all i could do was hold her while she cried. A friend mentioned to me that sometimes we just need to love them in it when there is no through it, and it really hit home. I don't now if she will ever move "through" that trauma, but i can sit and love her while she is in it. I can show her with words and actions that no one will ever be allowed to treat her like that again. Maybe it is enough. Sometimes i feel so inadequate to parent these children that have been so hurt by what life has thrown at them. I worry that i'm not doing enough, or that i'm doing it wrong, or that someone else could do it so much better. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">When people accuse me of being a "child collector" or ask why i'm not "done" yet well this is why. B/c you know what? My life would be EASIER if i didn't have three disabled kids. Of course it would. We wouldn't have a zillion doc appointments or hauling non-mobile kids around or all day therapy and a million other things i do with them every day. But life wouldn't be easier for THEM and they are who matters. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Random fundraiser for the boys :) We are selling these T-shirts! World Down Syndrome Day is coming up in May, and both of these shirts would be great for it! Or awesome for any random day of the week too! Take a peek and help us bring the boys home! (unisex shirts, women's shirts, t-shirts, and sweatshirts available at the links!)</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-76760011715937736752014-12-16T22:53:00.001-05:002014-12-17T08:32:58.753-05:00Better off without themA sweet friend of mine who has adopted multiple children with special needs today got told that children like hers made this woman (who professed to be Christian mind you) think that abortion was ok.<br />
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I'm gonna let that sink in for a minute. <br />
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Picture yourself, out with your beloved children, and some random person telling you that they should have been aborted, and thinking nothing wrong with saying it. Looking at your heart, laying there in your arms, and telling you flat out, you would be better off without them. The WORLD would be better off without them. It makes my heart clench and i feel shaky just thinking about it. <br />
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I think any one of us would be horrified by this happening to us. But you know what, this is what is happening in orphanages all over the world. These children truly are not seen as human. I've had so many people ask me, how can they treat the kids so horribly (in the orphanages). It's the same reason that the holocaust happened. They weren't considered worthy. The world would have been better off without them. How many people KNEW what was happening and did nothing about it? <br />
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It's the reason we are on our third adoption (children 4 and 5) in three years. Once you have SEEN the truth of how these children are treated and considered inhuman, you can never ever unsee it. Life was easier in many ways before our eyes were opened and our hearts were broken and never quite pieced back in the same way as before. <br />
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Before she was "human". Before she was worthy. </div>
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After she was chosen. After she was SEEN for who she was. A lovely, human child who just needed someone to acknowledge that she was a person. </div>
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Before she was a beloved daughter.</div>
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Beloved daughter, sister, granddaughter, friend. Chosen. Loved. Perfectly formed. </div>
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My Jo. Unloved. Unworthy. Un-human. </div>
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My Jo. Loved. Worthy. Chosen. Seen. </div>
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I could literally post hundreds of these types of pictures. Nothing spectacular is happening once these kids are brought home. They are loved and fed and made part of a family. The changes are astonishing. </div>
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Take a look at this documentary if you don't believe me. Watch the nanny carry the child like a thing. Away from her body, by the arm, no care at all or even recognition that they are holding a person being. </div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ah_W9tS-8c">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ah_W9tS-8c</a><br />
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So, what do you think? Better off without them? I feel everyday my life is better b/c of my children. All of my children. </div>
Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-22943074070024629702014-12-01T19:35:00.001-05:002014-12-02T22:28:25.136-05:00ProgressNot to much to say. We got our rough draft of our homestudy today, so that is EXCELLENT news. Once we approve and our agency approves, we can get a final copy and then apply to USCIS. Thats the USA government that will give us permission to adopt the boys. Hopefully we get our appointment quickly and can get that done with! Our dossier should be ready to send off before we get our fingerprints back. Trucking along!<br />
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We are still fundraising. I am making and selling wooden Montessori toys, that you can see here https://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Little-Sunshine-Montessori-Boutique/350544488363478<br />
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A sweet friend started a fundraiser she is calling the love train for us. She bought paper trains that we are selling for $5 a piece. Once you donate, we are putting your name on a train and then attaching the trains to the wall of the room the boys will sleep in. I am hoping to cover the entire wall so the boys will be SURROUNDED with love from all the friends who helped them come home! If you would like your name on a train, please donate $5 on the little tab to the right with the boys names on it, and then let me know!<br />
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Will update soon!!!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-6243597997414169612014-11-01T10:17:00.000-04:002014-11-01T10:17:40.921-04:00And AgainHere we are again. <br />
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Moved to action by a simple little picture. <br />
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I had seen the little one when he was listed before. Thought he was cute and moved on. A family committed and discovered he had an older brother, and were determined to keep them together. So they leapt for both of the boys, fighting to get their files together. Unfortunately, after they had first trip they were unable to continue with the boys adoption. </div>
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Thomas has been after us to adopt more "brothers", and we always kinda laughed and said some day. Then our agency listed the boys again. And my heart caught. I saw my sons. I saw my son's brothers. I begged for videos from our agency and watched them over and over and over. I sent them to Jared and pleaded with him to just watch and think about it. He wasn't sure he was ready. I understood but my heart wouldn't let go. I waited for the "no" I was sure would come from Jared. Much to my surprise, Jared's heart was also moved. He said yes. He knew they were his sons too. </div>
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I was scared to be honest. Not of bringing more children into our homes. That I knew we could handle. Scared of the reaction we would get. So I debated. Should we not tell anyone? Should we be an anonymous family? In the end, after some gentle encouragement from the hubby, we went public. We've gotten all kinds of reactions. We are either crazy people or amazing depending on who we talk too. Truthfully, we are neither. Not saints or nuts. We get frustrated and yell too. We have great days and awful days. Just a normal family. </div>
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The difference? We have seen the children who don't have families. We have had children literally scale our bodies and beg, beg us to be their mama and papa. I don't think I will ever be the same after our first trip when we adopted Eli. His orphanage was a nice place. There were still issues of course. But the nicest place can't replace a family.</div>
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One little girl in particular would come up to me and ever so sweetly kiss my hand, b/c she saw me kiss Eli's hand the first day we met him. She was so silent, so patient. She would wait until I wasn't paying attention and then I would feel the softest little mouth on my hand, gently kissing. Oh how I wept when I left her. I was so afraid of what would happen to her when she was transferred. She was so gentle. So quiet. I knew what that could mean. Thankfully she is being brought home now by someone who has turned into a dear friend, but that transfer? It wasn't good for her. She didn't fare well, just as a I feared. I don't think I will breathe easy until she in in her mama's arms forever, which thankfully will be soon! She is one of the lucky ones. Even with a bad transfer, she is still being rescued. She will have a mama and papa to help her heal. Most of the kids? They won't ever get their happily ever after. </div>
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Most people don't want older kids. Especially older children who are disabled. And older, disabled boys? Well they are the least wanted of all. Our boys are 8 and 6. Disabled, health issues, cognitive issues, medical issues. People aren't beating down the door to adopt kids like this. But I remember. I remember the "older" kids in Eli's orphanage. The ones who still had hope. The ones who begged to be held, or just climbed up us b/c they knew we wouldn't say no. They knew we were "soft", unlike the nannies who didn't have time to sit and cuddle b/c they had so many children to care for. They knew we would have a kind word and a gentle touch. Amazing how they didn't need to speak our language to understand love. </div>
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And love them we did. I whispered love in so many ears that 10 days we spent in his orphanage. Over and over again. How I loved them. How I prayed my whispered words would help them hold on a little longer. I prayed for families to come for each of them. To see their worth too. I won't know what happened to most of them. I won't be able to follow their stories b/c most of them have been transferred at this point. I can only remember them. I won't forget them. They had meaning to me. </div>
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So we aren't afraid of adopting "older" children. I won't be afraid of what people think of our family anymore either. Love us or hate us. It's all ok. We are doing what we think is right. We will claim these two as our beloved sons too, and we will rejoice with those who rejoice with us. Hopefully others will come alongside and cheer, but it's okay if they won't either. We will follow along on our little path, with our not so little family cartwheeling behind us. </div>
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It all happens for a reason. If the first family hadn't committed to both of the boys, then our older son might have been separated and transferred at this point. B/c they are together still, our adoption process will be a little smoother (hopefully). </div>
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So, here we are. Leaping again. Joyfully rushing towards our new children. Our new sons. Won't you rejoice with us? With them? For them?</div>
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Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-26689947501117516172014-10-18T14:15:00.001-04:002014-10-18T14:15:23.246-04:00Metcha monthHappy Metcha month sweet dude. Your picture rocked our world and you haven't stopped since.<br />
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Heard this song while I was folding laundry today, it always makes me smile and think of you. <br />
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I'm saying yes to You<br /> And no to my desires<br /> I'll leave myself behind<br /> And follow You</div>
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I'll walk the narrow road<br /> 'cause it leads me to You<br /> I'll fall but grace<br /> Will pick me up again</div>
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I've counted up the cost<br /> Oh I've counted up the cost<br /> Yes I've counted up the cost<br /> And You are worth it</div>
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I do not need safety<br /> As much as I need You<br /> You're dangerous<br /> But Lord You're beautiful</div>
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I'll chase You through the pain<br /> I'll carry my cross<br /> 'cause real love<br /> Is not afraid to bleed</div>
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Jesus<br /> Take my all<br /> Take my everything</div>
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<br /> I've counted up the cost<br /> And You're worth everything<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> </div>
Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4089190865331446932.post-77359799480277710832014-10-07T21:04:00.000-04:002014-10-07T21:04:07.059-04:00Dear Birth MotherDear Birth Mother:<br />
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Tomorrow is Lanie's 4th birthday. I've been thinking of you all day today. Were you feeling labor pains 4 years ago today? Were you eagerly anticipating the birth of your baby? Were you dreaming of that baby's future? What you would do with her? I wonder how you felt when you found out she had Down Syndrome. When you knew your future dreams for her were not to be. Did a doctor tell you to leave her? Were you bullied? Did your mama heart mourn for her? Are you thinking of her today?<br />
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I look at my biological children and I can pick out who has what feature. Thomas looks like his Daddy, Luci is a mix, Gwen looks like me. I see us in them. I don't see us in her. <br />
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When I look at her, I think, you must have been beautiful, because she is too. <br />
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You must have been funny, because she is too. <br />
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You must have had light, straight hair and ever changing eyes, because she does too. <br />
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You must have had long eyelashes, because hers are impossibly long and lovely. <br />
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I wonder if you had a temper, because she does too. <br />
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When I look at her, I grieve that she waited so long for us. I grieve for you, because she is amazing. I get to watch her move and grow and learn. I hope you know somehow that she is safe. That she is loved. I hope your heart can be eased in someway. <br />
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She stopped crying when I picked her up today. First time she has done that. The hard shell she holds so close is cracking slowly. She is learning to trust that we will be here. That we will treat her gently. That something outside herself can be interesting. <br />
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She holds my heart, and I am trying my hardest to win hers. When I rock her and she finally decides to snuggle close, sometimes I just sit and watch her breath. I think, she is a fighter. She went through heart failure and open heart surgery and ecmo and she did it alone. You must have been a fighter too. One day it will be easier to raise a child with a disability in your country. <br />
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Some promises to you, from one mama to another. I promise I will love her with all my heart forever. I promise to hug and kiss her everyday. I promise to continue to be thankful that you gave her life. I promise to hold her and encourage her to try her hardest, even when she doesn't want to be pushed forward. I promise to fight for her. For medical care and education and whatever she needs. I will fight with my last breath to do right by her. From one mama to another, I will fight for both of us, because she is worth it. Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15239659257533376133noreply@blogger.com2