True confession here. I hate traveling. I hate leaving my kids at home. I hate arranging childcare. I hate the showers and the food and not understanding the language. I hate feeling like a standout sore american thumb. I hate fast crazy driving that makes me want to puke. I hate missing out on what my other kids are doing for a week. I hate jetleg. I hate the pervading smoke in other countries. I'm spoiled. I get it. I really do.
But this song.... it has become my anthem. B/c this adoption is NOT about me. It's not about us. It's about following a calling, even when i DON'T want to. I know that's offensive to some. But it's the truth. We are in a good pattern right now with our current kids. I know the next six months to a year are going to involve a lot of training and retraining and tears on all our parts.
I know i will be shown MY flaws as a parent yet again. Believe me, nothing shows you what a terrible parent you are when you just can't take it one more minute and lose your cool on a kid who was an orphan just a month ago...when i'm on my knees just praying for help with MY heart, with MY flaws, with MY weaknesses i think of this song. It was being played when i first started attending this church, and i really LOVE that it was sung tonight. This was my last time at church before i go and get the boys. I'm particularly nervous b/c we are supposed to fly through Paris.
Something about these lyrics though, man they just resonate in me.
" Come on, be set free!" Yes, come with us boys, come and be set free. See the world for the first time. See what being in a family is like. So many firsts to be had, even at their ages. Be free to make your own choices, good and bad
"Where you lead me i will go, if you lead me i will follow." I will follow and i hope that we can lead them down a path they can be proud of. We weren't particularly looking to start another adoption, but when we saw their pictures and we just knew, they were ours. So we will go. Again and again and again. As long as we are called. As long as we are able.
Invitacion Fountain
Lyrics:
Let all who are weak
All who are weary
Come to the Rock
Come to the Fountain
All who have sailed
On the rivers of heartache
Come to the sea
Come on, be set free!
If You lead me Lord,
I will follow
Where You lead me Lord,
I will Go
Come and heal me Lord,
I will follow
Where You lead me Lord,
I will go
I will go
Let all who are weak
All who are weary
Come to the Rock
Come to the Fountain
Let all who have climbed,
The mountains of heartbreak
Reach to the sky
Come on, and give your life
If You lead me Lord,
I will follow
Where You lead me Lord,
I will Go
Come and heal me Lord,
I will follow
Where You lead me Lord,
I will go
I will go
Heal me.
Heal me.
All who are weak
All who are weary
All who are tired
All who are thirsty
All who have failed
All who are broken
Come to the Rock
Come to the Fountain
song below in case you want to hear it.
