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Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Not what i wished for

You're not what i wished for
when i wished for you,
a sweet baby girl,
with a little something extra,
who would run around,
and sass us with her funny words.

You're not what I hoped for,
when we saw your sad picture,
success stories dancing through my mind,
of children who do and do and do.

 You're not what i imagined,
when i pictured our future together,
shopping dates, prom dates and a house of your own
  



You're not what i wished for,
with your solemn face
and your slow movements
and no sassy words at all.

You're not what i hoped for, 
with your fleeting eye contact,
and your content to just be still.



.You're not what i imagined, 
for us, and you,
b/c you are so much more.

When you meet my gaze,
my heart leaps.
Chubby arms reaching across to 
be held safe.

Deep, dark eyes, 
holding all your mysteries.

I lose myself in them
staring
wondering
watching
you.

Dreams change.
Wishes change.
What might have been
morphs
into
look what is.
Look at her,
isn't she amazing?

And i'm so grateful
that we didn't say no
when reality was different
than my silly wishes.

B/c i would have missed
a better reality
than i could have
ever imagined.