How do you know when a child is meant to be yours? Is it a smile, a twinkle in the eye? A pleading look? An instant connection to a picture? How do you know?
I'm struggling with this right now. I am so excited to be bringing Eli home. I thought i was content. Then, another child who is in the same area as Eli got listed this weekend. I had to see his picture. There is one other child listed right now from Eli's area and although he is cute i didn't feel any connection. When i looked at this newly listed child, my heart lept. Seriously, skipped a beat in my chest. He is adorable. He looks like he could be my child. I want to bring him home too. I want him and Eli to be brothers. I want him to experience the joy our family has, our highs, our lows, our family.
How do you know? I've been thinking about the newly listed child all day. I'm afraid. I'm afraid he is in the same place as our Eli and i will have to look into his eyes and tell him i can't be his mama. I'm not sure i could do it. So what do you do?