Thursday, March 12, 2015

Fly away, Fly away

Jared and i got back our USCIS approval in NINE days!!!!  Last adoption it took close to 60!!!!  We rushed and scrambled and our COMPLETED Dossier FLEW away yesterday.  Wow.  Complete.  We are so so ready to meet the boys and bring them home.

I think of them every single day, in the (rare) quiet moments during the day and all through the late evening hours when i stay up making crafts or working on fundraisers to help bring them home.  What will they be like.  Will they like us?  When will they be home?  How will our lives change?  I know there aren't any quick answers to those questions, but i am READY to find out.

We are ready for them to be here and to start learning what it means to be part of a family.  To have people that will fight for you (and with you ;) ).  To know that someone always has your back.  That's what i am waiting for.  To show them the wonder beyond those orphanage doors.  What the world has to offer them.  It's a crazy thing to watch a child discover the world.  I remember watching Eli play on a playground in his first months home and just weeping.  B/c he was free.  B/c he had waited so long to have a family who would delight in watching him go down a slide.

It's amazing when our babies explore and learn, even more amazing and achingly heartbreaking when you watch a child of 9 or 7 or 5 discover things our biological children take for granted.  Food always being available.  Someone to rock you whenever you want.  Someone to worry when you are sick or scared or upset.  Someone to sit with you when your world feels to big or scary.  Someone you can show your big scary feelings to and they will help you work through them.

 It's so much work. Truth right there. Bringing home children from institutions is hard WORK.  It can feel never ending some days.  Back breaking some days.  Tear worthy some days.  Some days i wonder what in the world we are doing, b/c on those hard days i am oh so certain that anyone else could do a better job with our kiddos from hard places.  Those hard days come and go though, but the bottom line is, they are worth it.  They are worth my tears and sleepless nights worrying over if i did the right thing, or enough, or worrying about medical issues or emotional issues.

We still need around 15,000 more to be fully funded to bring the boys home.  That is a very big, very scary number to me.  Being our third adoption in three years means we don't have a nest egg, or a retirement fund (used it on the last adoption), and i know we are annoying when we post fundraisers and ask for help.  It's truly humbling to have to ask for money and Jared and i are both the type who would rather just do things on our own.  So it's a good lesson for us, that we can't do things alone.  If we had 35k laying around that would be great but we don't.  So pray for us and the boys, for them to hold on b/c we are coming, and for funding to come in or new ideas to pop into my head for fundraising.  I am not afraid to work for them!

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