first experience

I know i'm not done with our time in lithuania, but i had to share this! We went out for chinese food at lunch today, and Eli was a HUGE fan!!!!  He likes food in general lol, but this was hillarious!  We put food on his plate and at one point he took the big plate we were serving off of and starting eating off that too :)  See pictures below

My apologies!

I'm so so sorry we haven't updated before now!  We are home with Eli safe and sound!  We didn't take a computer and i am terrible at typing on the ipad...so no updates while we were in country!

I will try and recap for you (lol)

We arrived in Lithuania on Monday, October 8th.  It was a long trip and we were exhausted!!!!  We brought our baby (22 months) with us, so we still needed to care forher and couldn't fall into bed and sleep for 24 hours like we wanted!

Bright and early the next day our wonderful facilitator Silvia came and got us, and drove us to the orphanage.  I think we were both so nervous.  We had been imagining and anticipating this day for so long, and to literally be able to reach out and touch him now seemed almost...scary?  We were taken up to the third floor of his orphanage.  We saw a bunch of kids in the hallway, all getting ready for the day.  I scanned faces, looking for my son.  One of the caregivers said, "Eimantas, your mama and papa are here".  I saw a little head pop up and he walked right over to us!  He was beautiful.  He didn't want to be hugged, he was on his was to group time and on a mission.  It was a little surreal to see him in the flesh.  I had imagined this moment so many times in my head, thinking i would cry and hold him. He had other plans...lol.  He took my hand and walked us to group time with him.  Truthfully, i felt a little numb.  We sat behind him while he participated in group.  He kept looking back at us and so we kissed his hands.  He liked that and kept lifting his hands for us to kiss again.  I did tear up a little at this point.  AFter group it was time for the kids to do an art project.  He didn't want us to help him, telling us to go away.  We wanted to respect his feelings and gave him space.  After art the children had free play.  I was still feeling a bit numb over the whole thing.  I knew intellectually that it was very healthy that he was wary of us...but it wasn't the way i had pictured it, if that makes any sense.  When the kids were playing we kind of followed Eli around, and he did let us interact with him some.  We played with the other children also.

At one point, one of the other children went up to our facilitator and pointed at me and asked if i was his mama.  That was so hearbreaking to me...seeing all these other children here.  We were so suprised to see so many TYPICAL children, we were excpecting them all to have disabilities.

We left around lunch time and fed the baby and we all laid down with her to rest.  When we came back after naptime, Eli saw us and came running, "my mama" he shouted and pointed, raising his arms for me to pick him up.  My heart cracked wide open and all those feeling that had been so numb came rushing in.  I felt love and happiness and all these other things. He nuzzled into me and let me cuddle him.  It was crazy to be holding him after so many months of longing to have him near.

Ok, enough for now!  to be continued at a later time!!!!

second visit with daddy and eli

Liftoff

WE HAVE TRAVEL DATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are going to see our boy in LESS than a month!  Can you believe it/????  I have been on cloud nine since we got the email.  we are running around frantically trying to get plane tickets, lodging, finalize our childcare, make meals for when we are gone and and and.....


but he is worth all the running around and paperwork and money and tears and fears...we are coming little guy!!!  Mama is going to hold you and kiss you and love you and....all that mommy stuff!!!!

Back from Florida!!

We are back and finally recovered from our 19 hour trip in the car with three small little ones!  Whew!  they were super duper awesome though, so i can't complain about that at all!!!!  Mommy and Daddy were pretty tired from driving straight through though!

Pics from the trip

left hand turn

Sometimes, we are on a straight road, and suddenly, a tree is thrown onto the road and we have to find a way around.  Sometimes, we have to take a turn when we really want to keep on that straight path.

We are headed down to florida to spend time with my mom and stepdad.  My stepfather has been diagnosed with a pretty aggressive cancer, and we want to go spend time with them.  This is actually a benefit to homeschooling, we can pick up and go and stay as long as they need/want us.  Although i know both my mom and stepdad would prefer not to have taken this left turn, they are both dealing with it with grace and poise!

We may have had our ups and downs as i was growing up (i'm sure i was the easiest child ever to live with), but i can tell you that he came to every tennis game, every musical, every play i was ever in.  That means something to me.  He is involved in my children's life.  They love papaw and are excited to be going to see him (they don't really understand what is going on).

Please keep us in your thoughts tomorrow as Jared and i make a 20 hour drive to florida.  And please keep my Stepdad (myron) in your thoughts and prayers as he navigates this new and scary road.

Christmas 2012.  He and my mom come over on christmas eve every year.  3 years ago Myron and my husband stayed up until midnight putting together a huge dollhouse for my kids.

Dancing at our wedding in 2003

Mom and Myron at my wedding.  The photographer caught this special moment.  I really love this picture!

Myron helping Thomas shoot a bow and arrow at a fair.

I can't beleive i'm posting this one.  This is me at around age 15?  Fun times at this house!

Thomas's first trip to the beach.  Exploring Papaw's beard :)

1000 reasons

I got to thinking today.  About how i hear over and over again, "i couldn't do what you are doing" (adopting a special needs child), or "aren't you afraid of for the future", or "how do you know you will be able to care for them all".  And really, for the most part, those seem like valid concerns. 

  There are 1000's of reasons to say no to a special needs adoption. 
* Too expensive. 
* Stressful for the family.
* Not enough room. 
* Who will take care of them in the future
* Medical Care
* not enough attention to go around
* Not fair to the other kids
* I'm not called to that
* Family is big enough

I could seriously go on and on and on. 

But here is the thing.  I don't need a 1000 reasons to say no.  I just need one reason to say YES.  The rest will come.  One way or another.

When i look at this face, i don't think about the time, or the money, or the worry.  I think, "he needs me", and that is enough. 




This is Eli's original picture.  The one we fell in love with.

We will find the money, one way or another.
We will deal with the stress
We have plenty of room
We will figure it out
We have insurance
Love multiplies, not divides
Always room for one more.

I understand that not everyone is able to adopt.  And not everyone should.  But, if you are feeling like you might want to adopt, but keep thinking up reasons NOT too, let go.  Listen to that little whispering voice.  Let go.  Think of one reason to say yes. 

LEAP.

More Random thoughts

So, this week has been really terrible...sewer backed up into our basement, dishwasher caught on fire, sewer backed up AGAIN, cat tried to eat the baby...you name it.  Bad bad week.

But...in the midst of my aggrivation and yes, i'll admit it, a couple of tears, there were also wonderful things. Like, posting on my adoption forum in frustration and having people message me saying, hold strong, hold tight.  WE are supporting you.  You are on the right path.  Donating to us to put a smile on my face.  Random strangers really, as i have only met a very few of them.  They don't "know" me, or my family.  Yet, they took the time to respond to my frustration.  To send love and prayers.  How lucky are we to be a part of such a strong "family"????

Calling real life family to complain and having them say, "come over here, we will support you".  And then feeding us and entertaining us.  Making us smile with jokes and love, letting my children run through and around their house.  How lucky are we to be part of such a family?

Random strangers posting that they have clothes for young boys if anyone wants them.  Those strangers saying WE can have them.  Finding more clothes than i could have imagined for both the boys.

So really, in the grand scheme of things, it's been a pretty good week!