FOUR

Four...Four...let me say that again, FOUR!!!  I was ordering something for the kids for christmas (lol) and i ordered FOUR of them!  It felt kind of wierd and wonderful all at the same time.  Four.  Four children in the house.  Four children to feed and wash and play with.  Four children to hug and kiss and wipe their tears and kiss their boo-boo's.  We are going to have FOUR children...hopefully very soon.

 I always wanted a big family.  Jared was fine after one :)  We got unexpectedly pregnant with Gwen, and then i really didn't feel like we were done.  I knew someone was missing.  It took a long time for Jared to come around, and then we had Luci.  He was done.  I felt okay being done.  I would have had more, but felt like i needed to respect Jared's feelings, especially since he had respected mine.

 And then...Eli.  We found a picture of Eli and fell so head over heels in love with him.  His smooshy face and smirky smile.  It was the smile that clenched it for Jared.  All of our kids have been smirkers, so he knew Eli was meant to be ours.  Isn't it funny how a heart can change?  How a heart can grow and expand and include more and more.  What a lovely thing.  So soon, when someone asks me how many children i have, I won't stumble and say 3 but we are adopting another. 


I will be able to proudly say FOUR!!!

And i can't wait for that day!